Bugsey’s Bugsurdities…UNFAIR,UNBALANCED BUT TRUE! (so get used to it!)

Brian Gorrell – An Objective View

Someone I know started a blog that landed him a book deal plus coverage from BBC. Yes, that’s the good news. The not too great follow-up however is that this friend of mine, Brian Gorrell, is HIV positive. He tells his whole angst filled spiced with his rather blunt expression of raw anger.

Brian’s story is one too familiar. He is an HIV positive Aussie guy, who fell deeply and foolishly in love with some Filipino guy known as Delfin. Brian admits that he did enjoy the beach paradise at a place called Boracay but his kind of “eden” didn’t last too long. He didn’t know that his boyfriend was associating with socialites allegedly with “crime links” and he witnessed the not too pleasant reality of living among the extremely rich who have acquired their money through less than decent and legal means.Last that I managed to chat with him, he admitted that his blog was something that he needed to do to release his “rage”. Rage is a good thing sometimes. Or at least, the releasing of ‘rage’- because it can be something like a catharsis. I guess that was why Brian Gorrell just HAD to start a blog.It was the only therapy that was available while he was hurting.His blogging was like his own version of personal journaling. Perhaps there were days when he was crying while banging his keyboard. But he does have one thing – GUTS!

Read more HERE……


Multiply Dot Com and Peculiarities
April 12, 2007, 9:53 am
Filed under: blogging and money, blogging communities, blogging party, bugsey, hot

Blogging seems to be the new “media” but not in all cases. Some blog because they are pragmatic, they want to earn. There is a certain peculiarity however with the site MULTIPLY DOT COM because they give you a FREE account but if you are a more creative blogger, you’d probably want to do MORE like using java script tags, having your own adsense, providing your network with a trade/barter/selling page and much of the normal blogger good intentions.
Instead you get a customized choice (unless you get THEIR css pages) and when you have used more than the space for the video, you get a rather rude template telling you something like you have a video overload. unless you pay for a GOLD or PLATINUM account which is silly considering that will cover my server cost plus my domain name that I intend to use here at Word Press.
But there are bloggers who DO pay the GOLD and SILVER accounts. most of whom do NOT use their sites enough anyway to think of going to adsense or even adlite to at least get back their “blogging cost”.
I would think that it is the NETWORKING there that makes people bite the bullet. Multiply is like a Filipino Community site which is NOT OWNED by a Filipino but it does give one the virtual feeling of home chatting and exchanging views with people back home. While others would go to something like Blogger Party it seems that Multiply has done a great job at “site selling” despite the fact that Blogger Party has the VERY SAME features– and it’s honest, they say you blog, you get your adsense publisher’s code and you EARN some.
The sad thing is that Blogger Party is owned by a Filipina who is a basically responsive admi. Still better is that there are no GOLD or SILVER accounts because you are expected to EARN. Come to think of it, Blogger Party has even more traffic than Multiply and is a lot more honest than Writing Up dot com.
Still I don’t GET IT? Thus, Brenda, the Filipina Blogger Party admi person has attracted instead really good Canadian and American writers while members of Multiply could have even the same benefits without the blogger’s boxed-in feeling and the payment. And those from India can enjoy the blogging party and the Bollywood pics they PUT UP (and which every member is expected to put up with)on their respective sites.
Well, perhaps it is all a matter of “marketing”? But after all the prostestations of “Go Go Go Pinoy”(“Go, Go Filipino”) and “Yabang Pinoy”(Filipino Pride), why aren’t they at the Blogger Party site? I do not wonder. Still I hope that those at Multiply would “help” their own. But again, I do not at all wonder. Really.


Bugsey with Love:)
April 6, 2007, 4:17 am
Filed under: bugsey, friendship, humor, inspirational, missing someone, real story

Six years ago, there was this basket with 2 puppies literally shoved into my “care” because their mother died and they looked more like little “bunnies” to me rather than puppies.
I had no clue about how to take care of puppies so I decided on the dropper first.That didn’t work for me until I decided to get and EVENFLO bottle and try Bear Brand milk. The two “babies” were like MY babies, but even so, it was difficult to keep two of them because they are endlessly crying like infants and one can only bottlefeed one-by-one. Anyway, one was a male and one was a female pup who both looked so much alike, except that the male one had a mask, like that of Beethoven and he was ALL white except for the mask and his bushy tail. I decided to call him BUGSEY(the male one). When a friend ofmine asked if she could have one I said, “Yes, but whatever is left I will take care of with all my heart”. The one left in the basket was Bugsey.

WHY Bugsey? Because he looked more like a rabbit when I first saw him.Because he was a fast learner- he could poo poo at the newspaper when his eyes was still to open. He was one of the most intelligent new born pups that I ever knew or will probably ever know.There was no reational reaso why I loved him– or “favoured” him. I had a better dog with a full breed that he had.Perhaps it was a basic example of “grace” ( unmerited free love).

Bugsey was and will always be my friend. during his puppy days, he would always stay in my room and as early as a month people were scared at him because he was extremely posessive. For some reason I loved that. He was an excellent ALPHA DOG — yet he has always been affectionate in his own way. If he wanted food, he would place his head on my lap which meant he wanted SOMETHING like MY FOOD… (EVEN IF IT WAS SEX WITH THE FEMALE DOG OUTSIDE)

Bugsey will always be special – reminds me of an Exupery quote ” It is the time with your rose that makes her so special” and “One understands only what one tames” — plus – “To Tame means to establish ties” 🙂 Bugsey, was a dog, but he was likewise my friend, “my little prince”. He was the one who wagged his tail when I come home sniffing for the chiken ( “kiken babes!”, it was he who accompanid me through the dark nights when I felt alone, it was he whom I talked with, it was he who made me merry even when he stole my food or sprinkled “pee” (territorial) on anything new I came home with, it was he who looked at m with those soulful eyes as if he could say something.. it was he who could show me love and “naughty arrogance” at the same time, it was he who was mine for a long time:)

Bugsey could have “gone” earlier last year but it was the new year then and I did ask God for a miracle and God healed him then. He was a distemper survivor. I asked God to lend him to me for a year more and God listened to my heart. I prayed the same prayer last week, and perhaps, God wanted to tell me that Bugsey was “tired” or that there is now a better place for my Bugsey with him and those whom I have loved.

Bugsey will always be alive.There is something in investing love that never dies- it’s immortal. He was such a proud and brave doggie that he didn’t want me to even see him HURTING — he didn’t whimper. He was suffering trying to pee for 2 days then would try and try again and then strangely, wag his tail. He did not show weakness even if he knew I was crying.He decided to pass alone like the GREAT guard and friend that he was.

The day Bugsey died, after cleaning the “mess” and crying … my other dog Blessie was biting on something in my vcd collection. I picked it up .. the vcd movie was called “PARADISE”.

Bugsey simply wanted to comfort me (typical of him) and tell me that he’s happy. He’s in paradise:)

Thus I am thankful to God — for that one dog who taught me that courage is good. Love may hurt but we can always love again because love never dies, really. I thank God for making me THINK that we are ALL HIS CREATURES with the same unlimited “time” on this earth and that the real life isn’t really HERE — it’s in paradise 🙂

I did not lose a friend. He hasn’t lost me. I now where Bugsey is and he knows where I am:)
I praise OUR Creator and can only say — “God is good all the time! “

Mankind and “Bugsies”
April 6, 2007, 4:13 am
Filed under: bugsey, life, Love, missing someone, pondering, soul, Uncategorized

If ancient mankind were really that BAD and BARBARIC, I would imagine them to be savages eating every prey but they weren’t. What leads me to this conclusion? It’s the manner by which they kept their dogs at a time when there was no “dog food”, they had just discovered fire, they we sleeping under the moon, hunting under the sun most probably and yet, trying to keep their wife (or myriads of wives?) basically CONTENT
Dogs. The bland cliche — “man’s best friend“.

Yet, if I lived thousands or even millions of years ago I would need a dog. I would need it so bad because I would need food and I do not have their scent, so I would need one for more than company.My dog smells prey, barks which signals I should shoot the boar with some old-fashioned arrow. Or just maybe my dog would get it for me anyway because he’s wild and would bring me back smaller preys like ducks and chickens and I would pat his bloody mouth. The same dog would watch with me by the fire under the wild moon while I watch my wives and kids sleep safe in the nights.

Of course, I would share some prey with him. We understand each other. I scratch my dog, he serves me. We take watch together in the night, until I fall asleep at times perhaps secure that he would not leave me. He watches with me, he watches FOR me. It’s a dependency-cycle but it works.But things were simpler then.

Today, I watch little Bugs limp but happy and shudder. He could have been born a million years ago, Would he have survived?I don’t know.

The longest sweetest relationship is that of mankind and dogkind. Maybe we don’t need them NOW to help sustain our stomachs but maybe they aren’t created just for that. Maybe today they are meant to sustain our hearts as well.

Thus, the dependency-cycle remains.I love my dogs. They love me.

And they still guard my door until the day they die. I say this because I miss one who made sure he croaked “on duty”. That’s love.

I still miss him.That’s also love.

All About Diane
April 6, 2007, 4:09 am
Filed under: bugsey, friendship, humor, Love, relationships, soul

It would be common-even wrong- to call Diane my friend because she belongs to a different category than those whom I call “friends”. She is “uncategorized”, meaning MORE than a friend and closer to a soulmate.

Perhaps, I knew her in another life which explains why the first time we talked years ago it was as though we knew exactly what each other meant. If I were a man, she would be my ideal bride. If I were a rose, I would choose her garden to show my flair. If I were a dog, I would choose her lap to rest on. I am extremely comfy with her.

That is despite the fact that she is FOR the death penalty and believes that Scott Peterson is guilty and should die.I hate the death penalty. I think it’s “state sanctioned murder“. I love Diane despite her utterly unobjective views :)She believes in ALL of the laws, I find some laws unreasonable. But we are both democrats:) I love the fact that she lives in a blue state.

I love Diane because she is fun. Despite her fears of breaking the law when I sent her one pirated dvd, we intend to rob Fort Knox. We relish the thought of the excitement – even a virtual one – as we discuss how we would go about it.

I love Diane because she is as cheap as I am, we love rushing to ebay to purchase those Mary Kay samples and we have no pretenses like : ” Oh because we heard that samples are better”. No– we know– we like it because they are cheap and we say so. I love Diane because of her Midwestern pride and work ethic. Like, when she keeps her YM open at the office and tells me :” sorry, will have delays in replying.. boss was here!” I love Diane because we BOTH love food, we both have weight problems, we are BOTH not perfect and we openly discuss it with jest.

I love Diane because she has incredible wit and we love the repartee. I love Diane because I can call her at 2:30 am her time and say : ” I forgot… you aren’t here..” And we would both laugh and chat anyway. I love Diane because I can trust her and she can trust me and we BOTH know it.I love Diane because she and I can be kids again and we do not pontificate about such huge issues as immaturity, saneness and serious matters.

I love Diane because she is Diane.

Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.”

Antoine de Saint-Exupery, “The Little Prince”, 1943little-prince.jpglittle-prince.jpglittle-prince.jpg