Bugsey’s Bugsurdities…UNFAIR,UNBALANCED BUT TRUE! (so get used to it!)

If All You Know is Mush and Fuck…

Sweety is some obscure specimen of a human being who THINKS too presumptively that she is being referred to in every blog entry I write.

There are a LOT of Sweeties in the blogosphere….”sweeties”; “honeypies”; “sugarcakes”; “mushy face”; “coochie-coochies” who declare (as if a blog is as OFFICIAL as a Constitituion? ) with beaming pride : I AM SWEET.

Add “PROMOTE WORLD PEACE”. Afterwhich, make some vague allusion that you are being “BACKSTABBED” (duh? with knives?) — or slandered/defamed because it’s a more appropriate term— all because I wrote two blog entries in about my view of blogs which make me extremely sick!

It must be the Attention Deficit Disorder or plain paranoia.

There are billions of people in this blog I could be referring to but this Sweetie had to INSIST that it was HER. Gee… taking about self emulation and “passive-agressive personalities”!!!!

Sweetie (after claiming ALL the blogging virtues in the universe and Uranus) ends with : “Better Shut the Fuck Up

Using the word fuck even with the hypocritical asterisk does not exactly exude a sweet personality longing for the elusive WORLD PEACE, unless the peace she/he/whatever specimen means DO NOT SAY WHAT I DON’T WANT YOU TO SAY. It is a form of social censorship which no one can really impose anyway unless one is the Prime Minister of the Republic of China or.. maybe someone like that crazy North Korean President who is a lunatic BUT holds some tangible authority.

But if you are a COOK, for instance, and you live in some island where there is a raging volcano ready to explode and even if your business is going BAD— you can’t control the INTERNET by writing “Shut the fuck up” .FLAUNTING your self-declared sweetness and your avid heart’s yearning for world peace does not ALLOW anyone to try and socially censor what she/he wants to say.

I am too happy in my sarcasm to refer to only ONE person (unless you are Paris Hilton or George Bush) in ALL of my blog entries.

That would be unfair to OTHERS who deserve the honor of my sarcasm more.

And after all, let’s get real, most of these Sweetie-types do not comprehend what I really mean. That is not to say I am smart but that I do not bitch over one unimportant blogger unless I am upset enough to find someone with the big choppers plus the extremely huge mouth of Michelle Malkin who is getting more sensible lately.

That’s another example of what’s wrong with these purely social networking blogs that do not say anything. People insist that I am writing about them in some clandistine blog when what I am thinking about at the moment is playing with the Lol-ing Kitty!

And dearie, I will NOT shut the fuck up. I am into irritating all those who are too vain to think that I keep referring to them each time I type. The cheapest sort of vanity is thinking that you even matter enough to me to insult you.

I insult only the worthy so here, kiss my feet, you deluded perv!


Blogging for Dummies:)
June 27, 2007, 7:09 pm
Filed under: inspirational

There is nothing as self-affirming making this declaration : ” I HAVE A BLOG! “. There is also nothing as self-affirming as saying : ” Oh and I have traffic!”.

The funny part is ANYONE can do it — doesn’t matter if you didn’t pass your third-grade English! After all, there is “pidgin English”, “Chinglish”‘,”SMS English” or even moronic English! Who really cares? After all, as long as one can communicate – everything is A-OK!

Now here goes : 1. Get into one of these blog communities where you are SURE that when you leave a comment in their blog, you’ll get one too:) Remember that self-affirming bloggers are so particular about blog visits. The unwritten rule is something like : “If I visit you, you visit me”. Makes sense.

2. Collect all the “mush”. Spread it thick on the “Hugs” and “Kisses” and be a horribly nice person.It may annoy the thinkers but remember that MORONS always WIN. If you don’t know that Morons always win, watch more of the news.But don’t you dare be an ordinary moron! Be a really affectionate one, and make it a point to say anything torridly ghastly like ” I’d go to hell to be with you because I love YOU so much!” Add effects like glitters you can pick up free at Glitters com:)

3. Sign every guestbook MORE than ONCE. If you are terribly desperate, sign everyone’s guestbook everyday with inane entries like : ” I thought of you today!”. That is very nice of you, even if we all know it’s weird to be thinking of a handle name each day but doing that gives you “nicey-points“!

4. Do not get into political discussions. You can’t afford to remember?

5. Do not get into religious or Biblical discussions. You can’t afford to remember?

6. Do not sympathize with any cause, however good, stick to dogs and cats. You can’t afford to remember?

7. If you are of Spanish, Filipino or Latin descent and your social (yep, social) network is mostly like you, call the “ATE” and “Tita” and “Tia” coming! After all, you have to show some respect. Don’t worry.Everyone loves a HUGE family remember? (warning though : if you call someone “Tita” or “Tia” and she isn’t THAT old, you have made an enemy forever!

8. Take pictures of everything. It’s okay to strangely drop by every restaurant in the area and crash to ask “May I take a picture of what you’re eating?”. If you have no talent for picture taking, you can copy and paste REALLY KNOWN QUOTES and you would still get a response. Who said wit is essential?

9. Do not discuss anything with Israeli bloggers. You can’t afford to remember? They are too finicky about details! Besides, you think the Holocaust is something like “Woodstock” and “a misconceptions” is a Catholic term. Do not ever be too detailed. Stay vague and safe and utterly sweet and clueless. In short, blog without saying anything! Isn’t that cool?

10.If everything else fails, get REALLY unoriginal! Pick up health tips, beauty tips, love quotes, safety tips, criminal ideas, poetry, gardening tips, recycling tips, recipes, Bible verses, marketing tips, diy-instructions OR ANYTHING under the sun! You’d still get a reply anyway:) Copy and Paste is awesome, particularly if that’s your idea of your personal blog 🙂

Start NOW…. it takes only guts! Who needs to know how to write one single decent English sentence anyway?

Blogging About “Nuthin”
June 27, 2007, 2:17 pm
Filed under: blogging communities, blogging party, dog lovers, friendship

Seconds ago I was reading my multiply site when it dawned on me – people have a knack of writing about NOTHING! Nothing as in really wanting in substance. Not that I longed for something like a heated intellectual high fallutin discussion. Just a sane one. Something beyond pictures of Asian dishes, flowers, dogs, cats, and cutie pics wherein one can predictably comment : ” This makes me hungry!” or “Awesome” or the usual one liner “ I Love This“.

There must be MORE to blogging than — ” I love this! ” and then your reply goes: “Thank you visiting my site!“. Yet that seems to be the IN THING in blogging communities — You leave me a “nice” comment and I leave you one too. That explains the traffic. But it doesn’t explain “making sense”. I always thought that communication is saying “something” more than “Look at my food“.

I may be wrong, but blogs are supposed to challenge our mind and tickle our creativity more than staring at the latest pizza or Mr. Lee’s monochromatic dumplings.

It is frankly annoying if not downright boring, particularly if it isn’t such a biggie as something like a tourist catalog of Italian feasts from a Sorrento or something like that. There must also be something more to blogging about or torturing those who are abroad by presenting pictures of dishes one can get ONLY at home.Be it food or stuff, I mean. There also must be something more to blogging than mushy exchanges that I read everyday ” Have a Good Day”, “Be blessed” or some incredibly boring account of one’s exhausting day. Saying really nothing, except, hey I am here (or I was here)and not having the temerity to honesty just type that and nothing more.

But I guess that is how these community blogs are supposed to be.

Thus, I put up a series of really fanatical Islamic videos I snatched from youtube and I don’t get anything more than the typical : “Not All Muslims are That Way”, “We should love them too“, and still the usual “have a great day“. So I wonder if it is a “blogging sin” to suddenly switch from mushy to real.

People are dying in this world everyday because of inexcusable violence and the only ones who seem aware of it are those Israeli blogs. My blogging community does not give a damn, not that I expect them to, beyond pictures and “God bless you”.

The positive side however is you find who is real.

You find out that that one who was your friend eight years ago is still the only one who “gets” what you mean and that it’s time you realize that you can’t pick-up a buddy by “multiplying” your blog network. You can pick up a hundred of “backs to scratch” but nothing beats a friend who shares even your “politics”.

And then, you understand why you no longer fit your own culture mode. You are pass the phase of dishes and cutie pics.

You have something more to say.

To Lola
June 11, 2007, 6:01 pm
Filed under: inspirational, mushy, poetry, pondering

Words from this keyboard flow at a relentless pace
While I recall that beautiful smile on your pretty face
Yearning to see it again after nine long years
and a sea of tears

I am no whiz at poetry unless it’s for you
Not a mushy writer but you were one among the few
Perhaps the ONLY one who loved me
despite me being the worst of me 🙂

Nine years and I wish to hear your laughter again
while I watch those dark comedies we loved so then
Nine years and I still hurt as my fingers touch the keyboard
and every heartfelt memory I hoard
like food for my impoverished heart and soul.

In the midst of the night I still wish to feel your hug
To hear your lullaby .. what was it?
“The song of love is a sad song.. “
or Hang down your head Tom Dooley
I don’t really care if the lullabies were weird
because it’s you that will always matter

Not your songs,
not the last time I saw you,
but THAT you
who still loves me forevermore.

Love is Forever and my Grandma is Alive and Kicking!
June 11, 2007, 5:05 pm
Filed under: inspirational

My grandma left this world after eating a cup of Mango flavored ice-cream nine years ago. That was typical of her, because she loved life. I recall that she knew how to “live well” (and eat well!) The doctors said she was in a coma, I knew better. Despite the tracheotomy tube, no one knew that she could eat little bits of “this and that”. No one knew that there were times that I knew she pretended to be in a state of coma because she was getting extremely of IV’s , injectibles and tubes which tortured her cancer ridden body.

That is why June is a sad month. When she left this planet, I knew that no one would love me as much as she did and that perhaps, I lost the ONLY person who understood me perfectly.My grandmother was also my best friend and there were feelings which I could share only with her, nevermind, if it’s talking until 3 am, she was always there. I miss that. Yes, even now.

Ten years after she is gone I still terribly miss her and I get into the “what-iffing mode” asking myself what if she had lived longer? Or WHY she didn’t live longer.

By “what-iffing”, I mean I get terribly mushy and recall the days when I was eleven years old or so and we would go to Sta. Mesa Market and eat Pancit Palabok at Cup and Saucer. Then she would get me the latest pants (pink) at Llanes . Every Sunday she would take me to mass at Santa Mesa Church where I would have to endure looking at what I saw then as monstrous paintings of angels and saints because AFTER that she would take me to Jonis and I would gobble a Tuna sandwich and ice cream. What if she were still alive? Would she be still cooking her my favorite Kare-Kare and Lengua Estofado? There must be something about great food preparation that makes one really feel loved. Maybe it is an extension of the safe and cozy feeling one feels in the womb – and always being fed. I have no idea.

Whenever I think of her, I realize what love is. It is a unique collage of the happy pieces of my life and she was in all in them. It is patiently waiting for me as I rummage through the Archie comics at Philippine Ed; she and me going through all those titles of Nancy Drews and Hardy Boys. It means me and her eating Lengua at Dulcinea, or the Turkey November Specials at Luigi’s and her getting me my guinea pigs at Cartimar. It is she and I at the beach at Taal or Hundred Islands or at Baguio simply LIVING LIFE and having a terrific time.

It also were all those nights when I cried pleading for another miracle (after all, she did survive her first Cancer bout for thirty years) in that Makati Med bathroom which seemed then like my cold and tiled praying room. It was feeling her earthly life zapped out of her yet knowing that I was extremely loved and that she really is not dead. She is not gone. I know where she is and she knows where I am.

But here I am typing about her because I am alive and she is alive in my mind and soul. And she can kick NOW because where she is, there can be no pain nor sickness or death:) The pictures is my mind are all happy as if she whispers ” LIVE ON, LIVE HAPPY!”. Most of all, I was deeply loved by someone and that makes all the difference in the world.